Husband is having Gamma Knife next Thursday and I am the driver. What do I actually do all day, and what should I watch for after?

My husband has a small metastasis being treated next Thursday, frame based. He has had a lot of treatment this year and he is weirdly calm about this one. I am not, mainly because I have no idea what my role is.

The letter says arrive at 7.15, someone must drive him home, expect to be there "most of the day". Do I stay in the building? Can I sit with him? What do I bring? And afterwards, what am I actually watching for that evening and over the next week or two? I want a list, basically. I am a list person.

Bring something to do and a charger. I said this in another thread and I will keep saying it: my husband sat in a corridor for five hours with a dead phone and no book. He still mentions it.

At our unit he was not allowed in while I waited in the frame for the planning, so check that before you assume you can sit together.

Second time for me earlier this month, and my wife says the thing that helped her most was the nurse giving her a rough time to come back, so she could go and get lunch rather than hovering. Ask for that when you drop him off.

Evening after, I was fine, a bit of a headband headache where the pins had been, and slept like a log. The tiredness came a few days later.

Watch-for list from the AVM side, for the weeks after rather than the day: a headache that keeps getting worse rather than better, being more drowsy or muddled than tired explains, new weakness or numbness, or a fit. Ring the team for any of those, and for a fit, call an ambulance. And keep the number for the unit on YOUR phone, not just his.

Done, and reporting back as promised. The day was long, 7.15 to just after 4. I was allowed to sit with him for the first part of the planning wait and then sent to the café, where Gwen's corridor warning meant I had two chargers and a novel. Frame off, four plasters, headache that evening, slept. Day three he was exhausted in a way he had not been on the day and I was glad I had not gone back to work. He seems fine now, fortnight of shopping and cooking by me notwithstanding.

J, thank you for coming back with the full day, it is exactly what the next person in your position needs to read. Your experience matches what most of us see: a long day that is boring rather than frightening, a quiet evening, and the tiredness arriving a few days later, which is why help in the first fortnight often matters more than help on the day.

Susan's list is the right one to keep hold of for the months ahead, because swelling around a treated target tends to show up months later, when everyone has relaxed. My husband's version of your list, including the results appointments, which are where a second pair of ears helps most, is now written up in supporting someone through Gamma Knife for anyone who finds this thread next.