Mum is 84 and they have offered Gamma Knife for her meningioma. Is it too much to put her through at her age?

My mum is 84, lives on her own, still drives to the shops and does the crossword in pen. She has a meningioma that was found two years ago after a fall, they have been watching it, and the last scan showed it had grown. The neurosurgeon offered Gamma Knife and said surgery was not something he would recommend at her age.

Mum is fairly matter of fact about it. I am the one lying awake. Is it cruel to put an 84 year old through a metal frame screwed to her head and a whole day in hospital, or is it cruel not to? She has arthritis in her neck and is quite deaf without her hearing aids, and I keep picturing her not understanding what is being said to her while she cannot move.

Has anyone gone through this with an older parent?

Meningioma here, treated a couple of years ago, and the man in the bay next to me on my day was 88 and spent the planning wait telling the nurses about his allotment. The frame was the bit I dreaded and it was over in minutes. Honestly the long day was harder than anything physical.

Caroline, neither of those is cruel, and the fact you are asking both questions is a good sign for your mum.

There is no fixed upper age limit for Gamma Knife. Because nothing is cut and there is no general anaesthetic, it is often the option that asks least of an older person, which is very likely why her surgeon offered it instead of an operation. What age changes is the question the team is weighing: for a slow-growing benign tumour like a meningioma, whether it is likely to cause her trouble in the years ahead if left, against the small risks of treating it. A tumour that has started growing is usually on the treat side of that line. The evidence in older people is mostly small studies, but one 2024 study found tumour control in people over 75 about the same as in those a decade younger. I have written the whole picture up in Gamma Knife for older adults.

On the practical worries, tell the team all of it before the day. Arthritis in the neck matters for lying still, and they can often pad and position around it. Ask whether a mask is possible instead of a frame. Agree a signal for if she cannot hear the intercom once her hearing aids are out, and ask if she can keep them in until the last moment. They do this every week and would far rather know in advance.

And go to the next appointment with her, with a list. How fast is it growing, what would you expect if we waited, what would treatment be preventing. Then let her have the last word, because it is her head.

Meningioma as well, treated in August. The bit nobody tells you is that the day is long and dull, not frightening. Pack her food she likes, a cushion for her neck, and charge your own phone because you will be waiting a long time.

Read Ruth's article out loud to Mum on the phone. Her response was "well I'm not dead yet, am I", which I think is a yes.

We saw the team on Thursday with the list. They are happy to use a mask for her because of her neck, she can keep a hearing aid in for the setup, and the consultant said in so many words that if she had been his own mother he would treat it now rather than wait for it to cause symptoms. Date is mid December. I feel about a hundred times calmer than when I wrote the first post.